Monday, May 17, 2010

we are slaves to a box!

why as people are we so quick to put each other and ourselves in a box? is it our need to belong? is it our desire to figure someone else out? do we really need these boxes?

i have always wanted to belong, im sure we all do. no one wants to be unrelatable (not a real word, but screw it im using it) to the the sociological world. our biggest fears are to be alone. even those of us that put of hard exteriors to keep our delicate parts "safe" want to be truly understood by at least one other person. so we put ourselves in boxes that we feel we should belong to. we dress and accessorize not how we want to but how the character we play should look like. we are no longer individuals, because hell we dont want to be, something inside of us tries to be one of many. we dont want to stand out in fear of the world turning their backs on us. do we even know who we really are?

this whole thought came up a few weeks ago. for those of you who do not know me that well i guess ill give you some back ground information on myself. im kinda a dork, its fine by me because i know this. i love reading books, i make corny jokes, and half the time i like to keep to myself. and as of the last year i have enjoyed writing stories. mostly short stories and even a few other things. this is what i want to do with my life, i want to be a writer. i was hanging out with a really good friend a few weeks ago who ive known for years and knows me pretty well. we went to lunch one afternoon and i was wearing a pink long sleeve button down polo, blue shorts, and a golf hat. (this isnt the first time ive worn this). the first thing he says to me when i get out of my car is, "youre such a poser." i ask him why and he replies, "because youre not dressing like who you are, youre being fake." was i being fake? because i decided to dress "preppy" one afternoon made me fake? this guy who i have known for many years has now put me into a box. he believes i should be dressing more artistically. i do enjoy dressing like that, but do i always have to be that guy. inside i am always who i am, but cant i look different and still be the same guy? i hate this! i dont want to be put in a box. just because over the last year or so ive become more in touch with the artistic side of myself doesnt mean i have to change who i am. every day i change the way i dress depending on how i feel. i can go from super preppy one day to wearing a tie dye shirt and pajama pants the next. im still the same old dork in both these wrappings.

we dont have to be slaves to a box. we can be ourselves. we dont have to be who we think we should be but rather be who we really are. why are we so afraid to be real? why does being fake feel so much better to us? i try to always be real, im sure for those of you who know me wish i wouldnt always be real. to not always say whats on my mind, use some sort of tact. but i cant be fake, its not who i am. ive never wanted to be put in a box. in fact i like knowing the box is there so i can step outside of it. maybe that makes me a slave to something different. i want people to be real, i challenge more people to lose the your hearts, find what makes you you, be that. love yourself for who you are not who you think you need to be. let the world know who you really are, because i sure as hell want to know who you really are.

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